Missing you…..

The very first memory I have of you is… you carrying me in your arms trying to quite down my wailing as ma and papa weren’t at home. I was 3 or maybe 4 years old…..

You tried everything; from candy to some rhymes to dancing infront of me… everything you could possibly do to make me stop crying.. but nothing worked. At last, you made me sit on our home’s outer wall and made me see in the direction where ma papa were supposed to return from…… and I quieted down.. expecting to see them any minute………..

That was the first of the many lessons you taught me…….. you gave me hope…

All through me and bhaiya’s (elder brother’s) childhood, you treated us as precious little creatures… protecting us from every hardship. Giving us your unconditional… boundless love……. sometimes even to the point of spoiling us….. but we know you simply couldn’t stop showing the deep love you had for us…

Right from my nursery standard… to my first year of college… you were there……. dropping me off and picking me up….. every one at my school and at college had started recognizing you, and everyday after school or college, if I wasn’t already at the gate….. some kid would come running to inform me….. “Sukriti, tere dadaji aa gaye..” (Sukriti, you’re grandpa has come…)….. and I would rush outside, to find you standing in the burning sun……. with a huge smile on your face and a hug waiting for me…… waiting to take me home……

You remember the audio tape that has my voice with your, ma and papa’s voice in it?? I was about 5 years old at that time. You know what I remember most about that tape….. its our fight. The way you would just say something to make me shout and fight with you….. I remember each and every word of that little fun fight.. I’ll always do……….. and I’m thankful that there is something that I have through which I can hear you, anytime…..

Apart from that too….. you know what I hear everytime I look at your picture thats kept infront of me….. “Aye mera beta…….” (Oh, my child..) and I can see your smiling face… the same smile you used to have everytime you said those words…

You know.. after coming to Pune….. so far away from home.. I had promised myself that I’d be strong.. and I did succeed to some extent except a few occasions when I’d talk to ma or papa and get a little emotional…… but you know… everytime, I talked to you….. heard your voice and felt the love in it…… I just wouldn’t be able to control myself…… and all I would want would be to book the next flight and come home and feel your warm hug……… the ever loving… ever present… protective warm hug………

Just wish I could hug you one more time Daddy ji……

I pray to God, that wherever you are… you are healthier, happier, and at peace now….. I know you’ll always watch all of us….. watch garandma, papa, ma, bua, bhaiya and me….. I know you’re always with us……… I know everytime I look into that picture of yours, you look back at me with the same smile of yours…….

My grandpa… my daadu… my Daddy ji… I’ll always love you so much…….. and I’ll always miss you…….