Unshielded

Wednesday night, as I sat back in my chair in the balcony, taking a look around and below, many thoughts crossed my exhausted mind. It had been a really long day, and every inch of my body ached from the tiredness of arranging to shift our apartment. Though I and 3 of my flat-mates had left office at 1 in the afternoon, practically an office half-day, right then, after all the work and preparations that went into packing all our stuff, meeting our new landlord, arranging for the furniture to be moved, this day felt even more tiresome than any other regular day at office.

We had been thinking about moving to a bigger flat since about a month or so. Two of our batch-mates had been transfered to Pune and they were going to live with us, so we needed more space. Luckily we found this amazing new apartment in the same campus. The place had huge rooms, was very well constructed and had a wonderful balcony. And we got it at a very reasonable price, so we made up our minds to migrate.

After we left from office, we took a cab to the place where our new landlord was supposed to meet us to hand over the posession of the flat. He accompanied us to his lawyer’s office where we signed the lease agreement. Thereafter, we went to the district court registrar’s office to complete the other legal formalities. In all, it took us about 1 week and 4 hours that day to complete all the legal procedures and obtain the posession to our new flat.

On the way back, we had to buy some mattresses and other stuff for the new flat, so we split up. 3 of us went to the super-market and 3 back to the flat to pack up the kitchen and other stuff. When we finally reached home after about an hour at the market, our flat looked like a store-house. About 15 luggage bags, lots of carry bags, big cardboard cartons and buckets full of clothes, utensils, food, books and shoes were strewn about the drawing room. That was the first time it struck me… shifting this time was not going to be easy.

After all our stuff was ready to be moved, we just needed a loading van and 2 people who would help us move all our stuff to the new flat. We had the numbers of around 3 movers but even after talking to them and bargaining with them, we somehow couldn’t manage to strike a deal. So me and another friend of mine, Neha, set out to find a reasonable mover. Though we were comparitively new to Pune and did not have an idea about where to find a good enough mover, we spent about an hour and a half searching the area around our campus and managed to talk to 4 movers. Still we hadn’t got ourselves a deal. These people were charging prices like crazy. It was probably because it was 9.30 in the night, we were girls, and we didn’t belong to the area which these people can make out very easily. But it was not a piece of cake.

By the time we finally reached home, all I wanted to do was, eat and crash down on my unpacked mattress. Thankfully, our mattresses were the only things we hadn’t packed yet. We were not shifting tonight, that was decided, but when we were gonna shift was yet under discussion. After having dinner, I called up our current landlord and informed him we had not shifted as yet. It was necessary to tell him, since I didn’t want some new people coming the next day and ordering us out as they were about to shift here. It took some convincing and discussion but, he agreed to let us move on Saturday morning.

At night, after having dinner and talking to my mother, I took a few moments and sat in the balcony. It felt so relaxing to just feel the light breeze and listen to the silence. After all the hustle-bustle of the day, all the discussions, the various arguments with the flat-mates about small stuff, this silence felt so needed for. And you know, this thought crossed my mind. For 23 years of my life, I never had to worry about all this stuff. Life was so easy and well provided for. I mean yeah, I had problems then too, with my friends, and my love life, and when I had to leave all of it behind. But I still had my cozy home, my mother’s arms, and my father’s soothing words to comfort and protect me.

I never had to worry about where I was going to live, what I was going to eat, where did I have to go to buy stuff that I needed. Never did I have to argue with people about such insignificant stuff as how many mattresses to buy. Even if someone said some awful stuff to me, I had my mum to make me feel better. Never did I have to bear the thought, of living with people who made me feel unwelcome, who were rude and mean to me, who never for once realised what efforts I put in, who never let go of an opportunity to hurt me…………

I have faced this earlier in life, everyone has, but then always was this protection, this feeling that I am safe, I am within a shield of my house and my parents, and no one can reach me past them and hurt me. And that night, after all that had passed throughout the day, I actually realised what it meant to be on your own. Yes I still have my mum and papa’s soothing words to calm me down, and to make me feel all good again, but right then, when I needed a warm comforting hug, I didn’t have one…..

But then, suddenly, a new confidence filled inside me. And I said to myself. You knew you were choosing this life for yourself. You knew it all along. You wanted to become independent, to face everyday practical life on your own. And I said to myself, “It all gonna be fine……… All is well!!” ……………… I am growing up.